"Over the past few days I have been thinking a lot about change. I still maintain the opinion that change is a good thing. It helps you grow. It helps you progress. It helps you learn. Thank goodness I'm not the same person I was two years ago, or even nine months ago. Thank goodness for progression. Although change is undoubtedly a positive thing, it does bring with it a certain amount of uncertainty. I think it makes you stronger. For me, the future is a beautiful thing, however I have this thing called fear of the future. Maybe it's a fear of commitment. Maybe it's just that Ive never experienced it so I don't know what to expect. Whatever the case, it scares me. So today I went for a walk. I passed some deer crossing the road. They looked petrified. They stared me down, and the closer I got to them the more uneasy they became. I have never seen fear take hold of an animal so quickly before in my life. One of them wasn't even close, but the moment it saw me coming around the corner it started darting off in any direction it could think of in order to get away. I passed them, and thought to myself, "WOW, I'm so glad that I don't live in that kind of fear." I stopped so fast that I almost tripped on my own foot. I have been living with fear of the future for a few years now. But guess what, whether I like it or not, the future will forever scare me. The unknown is a frightening concept. I can try to run off in any direction to get away from it, but it's still going to come. Knowing that, wouldn't it be so much better to face it with faith rather than with fear? God has said that faith and fear cannot exist in the same place. I love God, so I choose faith. I know that God is with me, and will be forever. That is all I need to put one foot in front of the other, and follow my Savior, knowing that because of Him, "there is always hope smiling brightly before me". It's hard to sit back and let it all happen. It's hard to wait. But knowing that God knows best and that He has a plan for me, one that equals happiness, is what gets me through. So I'll hang in there; I'll be patient; I'll have faith."
I love how when something that is complex in my life, which causes me to ponder for centuries, is defined clearly by a wonderful friend who sends me a simple email. I know
I have been living by fear for sometime now
and think I always will
but at least there is hope.....
my fear motivaties me
faithful fear or fearless faith
2 comments:
I was formulating my comment as I read and then I read "my fear motivates me" and that pretty much sums up what I wanted to say. Because although fear and faith can't exist in the same place we always hear we should fear God rather than man. So it just depends on the type of fear you're talking about. I think we have fear in things we can't control but as long as we apply the bicycle parable concept I think I will survive. Maybe even enjoy the unknown.
dad... you are the lady. Glad the deer woke you up to the future. Ha I had never tought of fear in a person in that way even though many people say ... you look like a deer in a headlight. We just keep moving forward as best we can.
Love ya.
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